I received many questions over the years about Potty Training.
I have done my best to answer them here.Can you really potty train a child in 3 days? Yes. It takes a lot of work and the first 2 days will wear you out. Not every child will “get it” as quickly as some of mine did by day 3, but usually on day 2-3 something clicks and by day 3-5 they are mastering it.
What if my child is has special needs or is developmentally delayed?
If your child is developmentally delayed, has low muscle tone, or has special needs that affected their physical abilities, then this method is not where you should start with potty training. If your child was a preemie and you often refer to an "adjusted age", use your adjusted age and Dr recommendations to determine if your child is developmentally ready. In any situation with special needs or developmental delays, I recommend talking to your Doctor as well as connecting with special needs parenting groups where moms in similar situations can share their experience and tips. Children with special needs will often potty train at a much later age and a much slower pace.
Do your children just potty train naturally? Or Easier than others?
Very few children just potty train naturally. My girls have similar personalities and temperaments as toddlers and both potty trained easily. Carson was a little different. He didn’t get it until late afternoon of day 2-day 3, and didn’t master it until day 4 or 5. We also had a lot more "out and about" accidents with him. I do not think my children potty training fast is just due to them being "easy" children or fast learners. I believe this method of potty training helps to train children to hold their bladder in a way other methods do not.
Does using this method mean our kids will never have an accident?
Absolutely not. Children will have accidents. I do think this method prevents them from being a full wet pants accident. Most of the time, it is a little dribble they let out, then they realize what they did and hold it back in. Now, their pants are still wet and need to be changed. Accidents are also common at new places (church, a friend's house, park) and when they are distracted ( playing with fun new toys, watching tv, etc). In these situations. I recommend setting a timer every 30-45 minutes (for at least the first 2-3 weeks) when you are out at a new place.
Were all your kids interested in Potty Training ?
No. One child actually screamed if I put her on the potty just a few days before we potty trained. One was interested and would sit on the potty some. Another didn’t really care. And I had a child who actually asked a number of times for her diapers back.
When do you Potty Train at night?
I had one child begin waking up dry after 2 weeks, so I started putting her in undies. When a child is night training, begin taking them to the bathroom before you go to bed. They may eventually wake in the night and need to go potty and call out, or even have the occasional accident. It is more common for boys to have a harder time staying dry at night. I have had 2 boys that night train much later than girls, and my pediatrician said they were not terribly concerned until after 8 years old. I was told by a doctor that children must develop a hormone/chemical in their brain that enables them to wake up to potty, and that some children (more often boys) may not develop this until 5 or 6 (or even 7 or 8).
What do I do if my kids continue to wet their pull up during Sleep time?
Or what if my child is going #2 in their pull up at during sleep times.
It is very common for children to wet a pull up during sleep times, especially early on in potty training. If you notice a pattern of dryness and then a random wet pull up, you can encourage the child to go potty right when they wake up and even consider rewarding a dry pull up after sleep times. I would not discipline or make a child feel bad for a wet pull up at sleep times ever. That said, when it comes to bowel movements, you can often tell when a child is purposefully waiting until nap time to have a bowel movement in their pull up. If it becomes clear your child is having a hard time having a bowel movement on the toilet, I would be patient, continue modeling how this is normal for all people who wear undies, adjust their diet to make sure they are not constipated, and reward when a BM is in the toilet. I also recommend when possible taking the pull up with the BM (if it is more solid) and dumping it in the toilet with the child and showing them how it makes a splash and flush it down! Just reinforce to them in a positive way that our poops go in the toilet just like our peepee.
Has your child ever done ________?
Each Child is unique. With potty training, every situation possible has probably happened to someone you know. I have 2 children who had huge camel bladders. The first day I sent 1 child to preschool after PTing, her teachers called me and said “you are going to want to make sure you come inside and don’t go out for errands”. I was thinking “great she has had accidents all day” She was actually still in the adorable outfit I sent her in, but she had not gone potty ALL day, from 9-12:30. She had held it the whole time!
Public restrooms-- I have had 1 child who was afraid of public restrooms, even if I didn’t flush them. She didn’t like big toilets, didn't like automatic flushers (Use a post it note to cover the sensor!), didn't like the hand dryers. It took a LOT of firm conversations, bribing, and convincing to get her to potty at Chick Fil A, Target, or even church. Another child had the opposite problem…. if you have a potty, she wanted to test it out, and probably multiple times. So every store, restaurant, house, park,etc she wants to go visit their potty. My lying rule usually is applied to this situation. The ONLY time I ever discipline during Potty Training is when a child lies and tells me they have to potty and then don't. (This often happens with the curious bathroom kids, and with night time procrastinators)
Why don’t you use a little potty? Because Target, and church and the rest of the world doesn’t have a little potty. And my kids have big bums. I think little potties are meant for tiny peanut bottoms or children under 2. I did use a potty seat with the others, but didn’t with Helen. I just teach my kids to sit up on the potty, straddling it, and hold themselves up…it’s really not that hard to do, and I have never had a child fall in. Helen just didn’t even fit well on a potty seat. Her front was too close to the edge, and I think pee would have gotten everywhere. But I think you just try with your little person and see if they fit on the potty seat. But yeah, I don’t see a need for a baby potty.
Why do you focus on dryness and not on pottying?
Because kids know how to pee. They know how to release. They do this naturally. What they need to learn to do is hold it. The sphincter muscle is what enables them to hold their urine in—to squeeze it in. For 2+ years they have never had to control their urine, and now we are asking them to do that. Any child can pee on a potty--- even a newborn. Toddlers know how to pee. They need to be trained to hold it, and that is where “dryness” comes in to play. When we focus on dryness we help to train their brain not just to pee on the potty, but to focus on keeping those undies dry. We talk a lot about it, in repetition… it is training their brain “I want my panties dry”. This rote repetition about dryness helps to train the sphincter muscle to tighten and hold pee in, so they can make it to the potty.
Why not just potty Train Naked? Isn't that less laundry?
When you focus on dryness and not just pottying, you have to feel when you are wet, and feel when you are dry. Diapers do not give children the sensation of being wet. Feeling wet undies is one of the best ways to learn. Countless numbers of children have potty trained naked and if that is the way that works for you, there is no judgement in doing that. However, this method works best if you commit to wearing undies and changing those undies every time they get wet. (so stock up on undies, you will need a lot)
What about potty training outside?
Again, we focus on dryness, and part of staying dry is wearing undies that are dry. We go to the potty to let our pee pee out and keep our undies dry. There is nothing wrong with using a small potty outside while naked, and this will certainly eliminate some laundry and the need to clean you floors. However I highly discourage this. In real life, we can't always pee outside. We must teach children to hold their pee pee in until we can make it to the potty. Of course there are the occasional exceptions to this like when on a road trip and there is no exit in sight, or at a park with no public restroom. However, adults do not urinate in public places or on the side of the road, and we should begin training our children at a young age in the same way.
Why Do you say that Potty Training is harder on the mom?
Because it’s hard work. It is much easier to leave a child in a diaper and not worry about it. Potty training requires an extra step…everywhere you go. It is a pain, inconvenient, and now adds a million steps to your already busy day. That is hard. Also, training this way is hard, but only for about a week. You have to say no to friends, Bible Study, a lunch date, Chick Fil A, the park, museum, even the grocery store. You have to hunker down and stay home and get it done.
YOU have to say no those things and say YES to your child. You have to hold strong and not break after Day 1 thinking “she’s not getting it…I tried too early”. Many moms make this mistake… of throwing in the towel the end of day 1….when most kids really “get it” on day 2. It may mean you pop out of church 2 or 3 times to take your child potty, or go potty 2 times at target. Or stop 4 times on a 2 hour road trip. But if you put your child in pull ups for outings, trips, and events (church, school, etc) then you are essentially putting them in a diaper… and they know this. Why not just put them in undies and bring 2-3 changes of clothes with you?
Can I send my child to you to potty train them?
Nope. I have done this 4 times. It is hard. But once it’s done and over you are SO relieved! You CAN do this. Your child can do this. Most likely if your child is over 2 1/2 they are ready. The question is are YOU ready???
Any more questions I didn’t answer??
