Potty Training 101!!

Potty Training Bootcamp! 

I originally wrote this post in 2009, after potty training my 2nd child.
7 years and 2 more children later, I still wholeheartedly believe in this method. 

A few things to note...

A-- I am no longer blogging at this site.  The domain expired years ago, but I had so many friends ask for the post that I chose to keep the blogspot site live.

B-- I am certainly not the potty training expert and have no medical expertise.  Please consult your doctor for medical questions and concerns.  I am thankful this post has helped so many friends (and strangers). I hope you find help and encouragement here as you dive into Potty Training.

C--In earlier versions, I referred to a phrase "Big kids wear Undies, Diapers are for babies" .
While this jingle helped my children and countless others get the idea that it was time to wear undies, I believe it hurts the special needs community whose "big kids" often need diapers far longer than typical developing children.  I apologize to the moms in the special needs community who may have read this post wanting to use it with other children in their family and been hurt by that phrase. 
I believe a more helpful (and just as effective) phrase for a typically developing child is
"we don't wear diapers forever".  (I do understand there are situations where someone may have to wear diapers their whole adult life.  I think as parents we can help our children to understand these unique situations with compassion) I do address special needs children in my Q&A as I do not think this method is the best approach to potty training a Special needs child.

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I adapted and have added to the the process as described in Toilet Training in Less than a Day. The principles in the book are good, but the book itself is outdated and hard to follow at times. Now does this mean your child will be potty trained in less than a day? Some just might. But you do intensive training in 1 day... what we like to refer to as Potty Training Boot camp!

So, Come on...sign up and join the troops!!

Is my child ready??
I personally believe the ideal age is 24-32 months.  Not 18-22 months, not 4, and not just whenever the child thinks they are ready.

Let me say a few things here. Readiness and interest are not the same things. You can read the whole chapter on readiness in ANY potty training book and all will say the same thing (well most will say the same thing) Neither of my children showed any interest in the potty. Neither had ever done any bodily function on a potty. Charlotte actually showed resistance the day before our training. But she was ready. I knew she was ready.    I potty trained both my older children at 2 1 /2. 

Can your child follow easy instructions?
(go get your shoes, go put your blankie in the bed)

Does your child recognize when they have a bowel movement? (do they hide, tell you, ask to be changed, etc)

The above are just a few examples of readiness.
Follow readiness, not interest.

Of course, you can offer the potty every night before bath, as early as 1 year old. No pressure, just let them try.  But I HIGHLY recommend NOT dabbling in potty training until YOU are ready to do the training.  Just because an 18month old is interested in the potty does NOT mean they are ready to potty train.   Don’t jump into potty training until you are really ready to go full force. 

1-- Talk it up! 
Talk everything undies. Talk all about pee pee and poo in the potty. Talk about all the people you know who wear undies. Read all the potty books you can find. Spend a day in Barnes and Noble and let child pick their favorite book to buy. Borrow potty videos from library.

2-- A few days before "Training Day" take Child to buy undies 
They pick whatever they want! I recommend having LOTS of undies. I am a believer in NOT letting child wear the undies until the day of training.... no "practice" rounds here.   Help your child to know "we don't wear diapers forever" and repeat that statement often. When you buy your undies, remind them "we don't wear diapers forever".  So the day you buy your undies, let child know they can't wear them until we learn to use the potty.

Buy pull ups for nap time and Bed time. Buy a potty seat if you want... I have big (as in weight) kids and they can easily hold themselves up on a regular toilet. The little potties are WAY to small for my kids' bums. So we bypass the little potty all together and go straight for the big toilet. 

3-- Choose a training day and mark it on your calendar. 
Clear the whole day and probably a few days after...with no necessary outings. Have childcare set up for any older siblings and younger ones (unless you are nursing like in my case and can't be away from baby) Plan for a good 3 hours in morning leading up to lunch and nap...you will BOTH be worn out, but hopefully the fruits of your labor will start to show!

4--Night before---
I think it is critical to make sure you let child know that tomorrow we are throwing all our diapers away and we are going to learn to use the potty. Tomorrow we get to wear the undies we bought. Don't just shock the child the morning of. Prepare them the best you can by talking it up like a broken record.  "We don't wear diapers forever...tomorrow is the day we wear our Undies!"

5--Day of Training!! We wear Undies!! 
Since you've been talking about pottying and undies for a good week now, kick off training with some more talk and reading some books. Then explain that they are going to wear undies (child is still in a diaper for this part...their LAST diaper ever)! We made a chart of all the friends and family who wear undies. Really try and let child come up with this list on their own. We even called a few friends and family and told them that we were going to wear undies today, and asked them if they wore undies.

6 -- No More Diapers for Me! 
Now you are going to pack up all the diapers and send them to someone who needs diapers.  (I usually pick a newborn baby for this part)  This part is really fun! Get a trash bag and have child throw each diaper into the trash bag themselves. Go from room to room, wherever you keep diapers. Don't forget the diaper bag... Put all your diapers in a trash bag. Ask child what baby they want to send the diapers to. Carson picked Baby Jonathan. We proceeded to write Baby Jonathan a note and tied up the diapers.

7-- Diaper off... Undies on! 
The last diaper in your house should be the one on your child's bottom.  "We don't wear diapers forever".  Make a big deal out of taking that diaper off, and throwing it away and picking out the child's FIRST pair of undies! Woo Hoo! This next sentence is critical…

You have a child that wears undies now... NO going back!

8-- Start Training... 
Yes, that was all just prep work! But really it all adds up to a giant "cha-ching" in the end. Now the real training begins. First, pour yourself a glass of water, because you are about to talk like a broken record for the next 2 hours. Have an arsenal of salty snacks, sweet treats, and yummy drinks (chocolate milk and gatorade are some faves here) any drink your child will chug.


9--Dry Undies 
The emphasis in all this training is Dry undies! Yes, we praise pottying, but we REALLY praise and reward dryness. Your job is to ask consistently (and that means every 1-2 minutes at first) "Are your undies dry? Feel them. My undies are dry. Are your undies dry?" Reward with a smartie or potato chip. Let them drink as much as they want.


10--The Doll--Have child train the doll. 
We all know that teaching someone else is sometimes the best way to learn ourselves. Have a doll or teddy ready to "participate" with you. It does not have to be a fancy peeing doll. Any doll will do. But do try and have some sort of undies on the doll. A cloth pinned on the sides is fine. While asking if child's undies are dry, ask if dolly's undies are dry too.

Yeah!
Dolly's undies are dry? Dolly gets a treat!
Mommy's undies are dry? Mommy gets a treat?
Child's undies are dry? They get a treat.

Repeat the process multiple times. (this shouldn't take but 10 minutes to go through this 3 or more times)
Then show child with the doll what to do if doll needs to pee pee.


11-- I have to Pee Pee!
Say something like the following:
I think dolly has to pee pee...we put our pee pee in the potty.
Here is what dolly needs to do:

Stop...Say "I have to Potty"
Run fast to the potty.
Undies down.
Sit on Potty and let your pee pee out.

Show them how Dolly Pee Pee's on the potty. (have a cup of water and pour behind the dolly's back!) Praise the Doll!
--Now go back to kitchen and talk about dry undies some more. Do the dry undies check about 2-3 more times. Then wet Doll's undies. When you ask if Doll's undies are dry, have child feel them... Oh NO...they are wet! Oh no, Dolly... We put our pee pee in the POTTY, not our Undies. we want DRY undies.


12 -- Practicing 
Show child with the dolly how you have to practice running to the potty, and running fast whenever you feel pee pee needs to come out. Practice the above steps with the Doll:

Stop...Say "I have to Potty"
Run fast to the Potty.
Undies down.
Sit on Potty and let your pee pee out.

-Then try practicing with the child. While practicing, child doesn't have to do anything on the potty, but they might. Try practicing from different rooms in the house. Give them a treat every time they practice.

-Have some Dry pants checks. Show that dolly has dry undies now. Keep praising and rewarding dry undies. About 30 minutes into training, start prompting child to go potty even if they don't ask to. Do the whole 4 steps above, and ask them to let some pee pee out. They should have had a good drink by now. Maybe sit with them and read some potty books. If they do nothing that is fine. Reward with a treat for trying. And for keeping their undies dry.

-Continue the day with dry undies checks, practicing, and hopefully Pottying! When accidents happen (see below), practice some more! Prompt them to potty every 20-30 minutes even if they are not going themselves. Set a timer so it is the timer telling them to potty, not you.


13--Prizes 
I give small treats (a smartie candie or potato chip) for dry undies. I bought 12 $ Store prizes and put them in a decorated bag called Potty Prizes. My method for prizes changes so that child does not think every time they go potty they get a prize. But the first pee pee and first poo poo gets a prize from the bag. Then once you think your child "gets" the whole pottying thing, you can rewards as such:

--Dry undies until lunch gets a prize. Waking up from Naptime Dry gets a prize. Dry undies until Dinner gets a prize. etc. I try to only reward the first pee and poo....the rest of the rewards are for dryness. Dry undies while you are on your first outing...PRIZE! Maybe Pottying while in a public bathroom gets a prize (Charlotte had a really hard time at first with pottying in a commercial style potty...Carson loves pottying everywhere we go...both can be quite inconvenient)
-After day 3, we have no more prizes. No candy for pottying, no candy for dryness. Just the wonderful satisfaction of being a BIG KID! Lot's of verbal affirmation!


14--Accidents 
You are bound to have an accident before you have a success on the potty. With every accident child has...even a small dribble in the pants... Follow the Practice Guidelines above (#12).

Only add the following:

-Make child clean up if it is on the floor
-Make Child take off wet undies and feel them....they are WET. We want dry undies.
-Put undies in dirty clothes.
-Pick a new pair of undies. (even for small dribbles...you want them to feel dryness) -Then practice 5 times from different locations....the full practice, including taking undies off and sitting on potty for a few seconds.

If Child has an accident days or weeks later, you have a practice sessions.


15--Naptime 
We do pull ups at sleep times ONLY. Not diapers, pull ups. Take child potty before Nap. If child wakes up dry, reward them greatly! Put back in undies right away after naptime...no budging here. A cranky child after nap may want to keep pull ups on.... NOT allowed. We wear undies. Make Rules now and stick to them. Potty right away after nap...even if child does not want to. If you don't, you are asking for an accident.


16--Bedtime 
Same as above. We try and take our little ones potty before they go to bed, and when we go to bed around 11:00. If child continues to wake up in morning with a dry pull up for 1 week straight, try going overnight in undies. (I have waterproof mattress covers just in case). I have had children night train by 2 weeks, 1 by a year or so, and others who were in pull ups for a good couple years after potty training.


17--A few more helpful hints... 
-After initial training day, limit their liquids. I am guilty of letting my kids run around with sippie cups all day long. Have them share a water bottle with you or use big kid cups that stay at the table.

--If Child is in Preschool, try to start process on a Thurs/Friday so they have the whole weekend before going back. Most preschools will work with you.

--If Child is in Daycare, this can be more challenging, and I wish I had more advice. Some daycares will work with children, others require them to be in pullups if they are still having accidents. Hopefully after a few days your child will not be having accidents, but I would talk to a director about it. You do not want child in pull ups all day long. It sends mixed messages.  A pull-up = a diaper  to a child.

--Have a change of clothes with you at all times. Just in case.

--When you get to new places remind them what to do if they need to go pee pee. At the store, when they are at a play date, watching TV, etc. These moments they will get distracted and not want to go potty. Ask them about dry undies often, and prompt them to go potty every 30 minutes or so.

--I do NOT encourage potty training outside. For emergencies while at a playground can they pee on a bush? Sure.... but the rest of us humans pee on potties, so let's help them to learn to do the same.

--Train boys sitting down. I have some friends who train standing (really, i don't how you ladies did that, but kudos to you!) They may have the urge to Poo while peeing and they will just be in the perfect position. Also, when sitting their muscles are more relaxed and they can "release" better.  (update--After about 4-5 months Carson moved to standing)


18-- Traveling around town and road trips 
Let me remind you...your child wears undies now. So why would you consider putting him in a diaper or pullup for a trip to the grocery store, or a road trip to Grandma's?? The answer is... we as parents are lazy and just a tad selfish. Your child wears undies now. Do not confuse them by telling them it is okay it pee pee in their pull up while in the car. Pull over, at every sketchy gas station if you have to. I have friends who have potties in their vans...for those roadtrips and around town emergencies. If that works, go for it. Now, i don't use the baby potties, and I personally think you need to teach your child to try and hold it until you can get somewhere. (Just make sure you as the parent follow thru and you stop quickly)

-Potty when you get to target, potty in the middle of your shopping trip, potty right before you leave. Do you need to plan an extra 25 minutes just for pottying? Yep. But this will pass, and soon enough your child will be able to potty at home and hold it a few hours while you run errands.

-I encourage getting out and about as soon as possible. You want to carve out a few weeks of flexible time...but that doesn't mean you stay at home the whole 2 weeks. You may want to wait a few weeks before taking child on your hour long grocery trip. But get out, get a snack somewhere, show them quickly that they can pee pee in potties at other places.

We did it! And I know YOU can do it too!!

People ask me all the time about my process and I am SO glad
I finally wrote it all out

Update-- 
I have added a Potty Training Q&A  which answers many of your potty training questions.

I am currently not answering blog emails or reading comments here. However, if you know me personally in real life, feel free to reach out to me!  I love helping friends (even friends from years ago!)