Patience...

Is a virtue.

So... just be patient...

and I promise to write a little post on patience soon.

Now let me just go figure out how to be patient, and I will get back to you in about 50 years.
At this rate it might take that long to get through all the Fruits of the Spirit...

Thanks for your patience...I have to go tend to my three little "patients" now. (oh, wrong patience, sorry)

See...you are already growing in this!

Joy and Peace...or Sorrowful Chaos??

Diving in today with these 2 Fruits of the Spirit....

*I fully admit that I have not posted this for days and days due to the fact that I do not believe I am living out Joy and Peace as much as I should be. I believe what I have written below, but believing it and living it out is SO different. But this is what I strive for...

So, How do I practice Joy and Peace in my parenting??

Joy...

Something I learned years ago in college was that JOY does not equal HAPPINESS. I may wake up feeling crabby, my circumstances may be challenging. All my children may be screaming, my fridge may be empty, my laundry overflowing, and Daddy may not be home for another 5 hours... but I can still choose to be Joyful.

"The Joy of the Lord is your Strength" Nehemiah 8:10

I am by no means saying put on happy face and grin and bear it. However, I do believe that as moms (especially of young children) we can sometimes dwell on how challenging our life is. And hear me... our life IS challenging! But I want to enjoy it, not just barely survive it!

I believe the key to how we can enjoy and FIND Joy in our days begins with the source of our Joy...and that is in our relationship with Christ. I am convicted that too often I wake up and expect to have a great day without first connected to the Vine.

I desire for my children to experience a Joyful mother, not a woman who begrudgingly gets them up from nap, who grumbles as I fix their snack, and snap at them when I am buckling 3 carseats. I long to be full of Joy as I go about my day with my children.

One application to help us to BE Joyful is to actually practice Rejoicing! Just think about it...There is always something you can rejoice about. Let's take our eyes off ourselves and our circusmtances and put them on God, on all He is doing around us. Think about all He has provided for us, instead of all we still need. If we make a habit of Rejoicing in the Lord, and I think we will find we will become more Joyful!

Peace...

"Seek Peace and pursue it" Psalm 34:14

Is such a thing possible with 3 children 4 and under? Ask me in 10 years.

But really... I do think that Peace and Joy are related somehow. I find that when I am rushed in the morning, when chaos abounds, it is highly unlikely that I will be full of Joy. But when I am organized, when I have a semblance of structure in place...when peace is present in our house...it is a much better day for all.

The first aspect of peace I think is important to look at is the presence of peace...I believe that preparing an environment of peace is my responsibility as a mom. For me, this means "prepping" our house the night before, taking all the shoes, toys, books, etc back to their respective places...even if I know they will all be out in the living room again by 9:00 the next morning. Am I the perfect preparer of peace? No way.... but I believe that if I put more thought into preparing a presence of peace in our home, I would actually feel more peace in my heart throughout the day.

The second aspect is the peace in my heart. We all know the song

"I've got a peace that passes understandin' down in my heart, where?"

In Philippians 4:7 Paul follows up the verse on not being anxious and taking all our requests to God with the promise that "the peace of God, that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Jesus himself promises "My peace I leave with you; my peace I give you" John 14:27

Well if these are promises, then why is my heart so troubled? Why do I feel like there is NO peace. Isaiah tells us:

"You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,

because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

And I am the first to admit that I am not very steadfast, and have a hard time in trusting the Lord. No wonder Paul had to remind us over and over to not be anxious, or to let our hearts be troubled. It is so hard to do. But when spiritually my heart is at peace, then my words and actions and relationships will ooze with peace as well.

"A heart at peace gives life to the body" Proverbs 14:30

Many churches (Episcopal, Lutheran, Anglican) have a time in the service to "pass the peace" Our church does a "congregational greeting" but there is really something warming to your soul when everyone says

""The Peace of God be with you"

"And also with you"

I don't know about you, but perhaps we need to Pass the Peace a little more around our house and not just at church.

So...

- Be Joyful

- Rejoice!

- Live in Peace

- Pass The Peace

The Pumpkin Prayer

I love Fall. Fall decorations, the weather, the holidays.
LOVE it!

My friend Rachel posed the question on her blog asking what other people thought of Halloween and celebrating it. Well, I treat the holiday as a cultural FUN holiday. We don't get into the spooky things or the gruesome scary costumes or decorations. We let our kids dress up for Halloween, though we don't make a huge deal out of the holiday. We visit a few neighbors that we know (can't go roaming around the neighborhood to a bunch of strangers these days) and then go to our church fall festival. We always visit a pumpkin patch, and carve a pumpkin.

I think you can certainly enjoy Halloween and honor God at the same time. The fall holds SO much that can be related to spiritual things.

Rachel mentioned a few books that she had purchased, and we actually have a few of those! She also had a great activity. I was reminded about a few I have used and wanted to share them with you!

Below is a way to share the Gospel with your Children while you carve your family Pumpkin:

The Pumpkin Gospel
Open with prayer and share “Every Halloween, people carve pumpkins to make jack-o-lanterns. We’re going to carve a pumpkin too, but our pumpkin is going to teach us about the Gospel and God’s promise of heaven.

Theme: We become a new creation when Jesus comes into our hearts.

Supplies: Pumpkin, large bowl, newspapers, sharp knife, spoon, candle, matches, Bible

Activity: Cut an opening in the top of the pumpkin and have your kids pull out the seeds and scrape the inside of the pumpkin while you read Matthew 23:25-28 and Revelation 3:20

Ask: How is the stuff we pulled out of the pumpkin like sin in our hearts? (They’re both yucky, sticky…) How is the way we cleaned out our pumpkin like the way Jesus cleans us out when we confess our sins?(Jesus scoops the yucky stuff out, etc)

Draw a happy face on your pumpkin, then carve it out. When your pumpkin has a happy face read 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Ephesians 2:10

Ask: How have we made this pumpkin a “new creation”?
How do we become new creations when Jesus comes into our hearts?

Share: When Jesus comes into our hearts, we become new creations, just as our pumpkin has become a new creation. Read 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

Read aloud: Matthew 5:14-16. Then light a candle and place it inside the pumpkin. Turn off the room lights and have everyone stand or sit so they can see the light coming through the pumpkin’s face.

Discuss how God wants our light to shine before others. Read 2 Cor. 4:6

Ask: How is the way the candle light comes through the pumpkin like the way God wants our light to shine?

Also...here is another adaption of the one above called

The Pumpkin Prayer

Dear God,

Open my mind so I can learn about You;
(Cut the top of the pumpkin)

Take away all my sin and forgive me for the
wrong things I do; (Clean out the inside)

Open my eyes so Your Love I will see;
(Cut eyes)

Open my ears so Your Word I will hear;
(Cut ears)

Open my mouth so I can tell others about You;
(Cut mouth)

Let Your Light shine in all I say and do! Amen.
(Place a candle and light)

Oh....and I just remembered about the Candy Corn Prayer-- great as a class favor or to hand out to trick or treaters!

Candy Corn Prayer
White is for purity and holiness...
Lord help me to be holy like You.
Orange is for courage...
Lord help me to have courage like You when You died on the cross for me.
Yellow is for God's Son...
Lord let His light shine through my heart.

Thanks Rachel for reminding me of those great books and the Pumpkin Gospel activity!

*Disclaimer-- the activities and poems above are not my original idea. But I also have no idea who to credit..now, carry on!

Oh How I Love thee...

Just a few reasons why I love...

Charlotte
-You have a hilarious laugh and a great sense of humor.

-You are quite a rule keeper...especially when it is convenient for you. You also love being the enforcer of rules with Carson.

-You are very spiritually aware. I think you are going to be my compassionate child...maybe. (that truly would be a miracle, as Daddy and I aren't exactly over flowing with compassion) You are often talking about how Jesus will heal people.


Carson
-I love our morning time cuddles. You are just about the sweetest thing ever.

-I love when I ask for a kiss, you kiss my nose.

-I love that you are adventurous and more physically coordinated than some 4 year olds. You are our athlete for sure! You have no fear....which I both love and hate. You are the reason I have poison control in my cell phone and know at all times where the closest ER and Urgent Care are.


Helen
-You let me throw you in the sling and take you anywhere, and stay out all day. As long as you're with me, you are a happy little bug.

-I love your full face smile and the way you bury your head in my shoulder when Daddy says "hey helen" like you're trying to hide

-I love how I am convinced that "mmmmm" really means "mama". Tell me it does!

-Even though I would be thrilled if you would take a bottle, I admit I secretly love it that you only want mommy. I am thrilled however that you are letting me leave you in the nursery without screaming bloody murder for 2 hours.

---------------------

I love my kids a ton....sharing with others how much I love them and what I love about them spurs me on to love them more in my words and actions towards them. Ever feel like facebook, and your mommy chats with your friends are just a big bowl of complaints?? Guilty here! I know for me it helps me to know others hear my struggles and relate. But often it just breeds discontentment in my heart and bitterness towards my life and my kids.

This week I am NOT going to complain on Facebook about my kids. I am going to Praise God for the 3 children I have and look for a way to love them better!

Love...

Kicking off the series here discussing the Fruit of the Spirit . Sorry it has taken me so long to dive into this.

My first excuse--The week (hmmm..has it almost been 2 weeks?) Just flew by...Where did the week (er, weeks) go? I had an anniversary, did a billion loads of laundry, went to an all day meeting in Charlotte, came home to more laundry, then was out of town last weekend in DC...and now more laundry. While in DC I remembered...hmmm, I haven't written that post on Love. And I've got joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to all hit on...So, I better get cracking!

Second excuse-- I just don't want to write about these things. I do not want to be confronted with my own sin and weaknesses in my parenting and I certainly don't want to tell YOU all about it. And I don't want to give all these suggestions on how to live out the Fruit of the Spirit in our parenting, because that means I will actually have to apply those suggestions to my own life!

*Confession--I just want to let you know I ALWAY forget gentleness when I write out the FOS. Why is gentleness so hard for me to remember?
Maybe is because it is the FOS I struggle with THE MOST in my parenting.
And now back to our regular scheduled blog post on....

LOVE

Why would Paul mention Love as the first Fruit of the Spirit? I do not think it was just because it was the first thing he thought of. I think there is a reason he mentioned it first. What does 1 Corinthians tell us? If we have not Love we are a clanging cymbal. And here...Faith, hope, Love... but the greatest of these is Love. Love is of utmost importance... and there is good reason Paul mentions it first. How can we truly live out the rest of the Fruit of the Spirit if we can't Love?

My first application about Love is this...
I cannot love my children well if I am not loving God well. And I cannot love God well if I don't fully accept and believe that He loves me. If you are looking for a book to remind you of God's Lavish love for you, I highly recommend Who I am in Christ by Neal Anderson . This book is always just what I need to remind me of my identity in Christ. My relationship with God must be a priority if I expect to love my children well.

When I was really feeling convicted about my parenting and the lack of spiritual fruit I was producing, I spent some time considering the way I treat my children. Too often the way I treat them is not the way one would or should treat someone they love.

Love is a decision, not a feeling. Of course, we all love our children. But I will write what no mom wants to admit.... there are many moments when I have a hard time loving my children, moments when I don't really like them. When they annoy me, when they don't appreciate me, when the embarrass me. Moments that simply make them difficult children to love.

I want my children to feel loved by me, and for our house and family to be full of love. I want for my children to grow up loving to be around our family. How can I accomplish that? How can I live out Love in a more Christ-like manner towards my children?

Here are my action steps

1--Let them see that I love God

2--Greet them each morning with excitement and joy, not disappointment that they woke up so stinking early. I do have a "no waking before 6:30am" rule for the older ones...well, if they wake they must stay in their beds or cuddle with me. I love greeting them in the morning, at Sunday school, at preschool, etc with excitement and joy telling them how much I missed them (even if I do wish preschool was 9-5 some days)

3--I do not want to be the Abominable NO mom. I will indulge them a little in extra special things just for them. Another cuddle at bedtime instead of a "go to bed, stop talking" A surprise treat... a special movie.

4--Special mommy dates. Wait.... I am with them every day all day, right? Doesn't mommy deserve a mommy ALONE date?? I have seen that my kids LOVE getting to have one on one time with me. But with 3 kids, this can be challenging. David and I take turns often letting the kids have "dates" with mommy or daddy.

5-- Try and make Bedtime a calm time of cuddles and kisses. I am usually drained, Helen is usually screaming, and David is often about to walk out the door to go to campus. Bedtime around here can often be chaotic and I am ready to get the kids sleeping so I can have some "me" time. Taking a breath and making bedtime a moment of peace helps me to center my heart back to what is important...that I love these little llamas so much!

6--Tell them the reasons I love them. I can really dwell on my children's poor behavior. At the end of the day sometimes I forget the cute things they have said or done. It helps to tell them or to jot those moments down. To share them at the dinner table.

Well...there you have it. Love. I promise to not make you wait another 2 weeks for the "Joy" post. I may even throw in some extra posts on Love to spur you on.

What helps you to Love your family well?

The Fruit of the Spirit is....

Last week we were eating breakfast and, being the health conscious mom I am, I was feeding my children.....umm.... fruit loops (they were left over from a craft...I promise). In his most sincere voice ever Carson proclaimed:

"This is the best fruit ever!!"

Obviously, fruit loops are not a fruit. But does Carson know that? If I want my children to be healthy physically, I need to be feeding them the real deal. They will never know what real fruit is if I don't ever give them real fruit. So it is with the Fruit of the Spirit.

What kind of spiritual fruit am I feeding my children??

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

and Self Control

Why is it so hard to exercise the Fruits of the Spirit as a mom? I used to think I had the whole joyful, patience, kindness thing down pretty well. (HA...prideful much?) Then I got Married. That's a whole different post all together on how marriage challenges your character and shines the light on your own sin...sin you had no idea you had.

But then I had children. Oh...how I had no idea the depths of my character faults! I sure am thankful that Grace abounds... because Sin sure is abounding over here and we are in need of MUCH Grace! I was reading through the Fruits of the Spirit recently. Often they sound trite and sing/song like... but oh, how they are no joke!

As I was reading, I kept thinking:

Nope...

uh, missed that one too...

hmmm...definitely not patient....

Fail!

Not me...

Surely I could breath a sigh of relief and be thankful that I exhibited at least 1 fruit of the spirit in my parenting that morning. Right?? And as I read the list I just kept thinking...
"when I read this list I just don't think of me. "
And I was convicted so deeply. I long to be full of the fruit of the spirit. I long to be SO full that is is just overflowing around me!

What do my children think of when they think of me? When they look back on their childhoods will they remember a cranky, tired, impatient, short fused mommy who was always barking at the them to "stop it!" Will they remember all the times I lost my temper?? Will they remember all of my facial expressions showing impatience, frustration, and annoyance?

Is this how I want to be remembered?? Are these the memories I am creating for them? Is this the fruit coming out of our house? More importantly, is this the fruit coming from my heart??

How can I expect my children to be loving and kind, sharing and generous if I am not over flowing with the Fruit of the Spirit? If Christ dwells within me, I want to live out His character to all around me... especially to the little souls in my own home!

There are many challenges that come along with parenting... I just had no clue one of the biggest ones would have nothing to do with sleep schedules, picky eating habits, or skinned knees. The greatest challenge in parenting is not the children...

It is ME.

Soaking up the Grace today... and relying on the Grace for tomorrow. I plan on looking at each of the Fruit of the Spirit and blogging about how I can live it out in my life and in my parenting. Join in as I try to put away the fruit loops and pull out the real fruit...the big juicy fresh fruit!

When I was 4 years old....

When Charlotte is older I pray she will look back on her childhood and remember this day forever....

Boots were worn...

The Buckaroos all came...

Cake was eaten...
(Why yes, I did make that Cowgirl boot cake!!)

And this little cowgirl turned 4.
Is she not the most adorable little cowgirl ever?
I just want to sign her up for Howdy Doody.

There were Galloping Races...

And preschool square dancing...

And then there was Tina. Tina the Pony!!
Yes, I am that mom who got her daughter a pony for her birthday party.

Baby Henny slept through most the party...

And we got a semi-decent family picture...
they may not be looking but at least they are smiling!

Charlotte, we love you little girl and are SO thankful to have you in our family! I can't believe this girl is already 4! It was an awesome party and hopefully she will remember this for the rest of her life.

------------------

Thinking of that--- hoping she remembers this day has made me think about what I remember from being 4. Then the sober reality that she WILL remember being 4. I hope she remembers this great party and these fun memories....but sadly there is SO much about my parenting that I hope she forgets... I have been thinking a lot about this lately. Thinking about my parenting... thinking about the memories I am creating for my children.

Stay tuned... I plan on blogging about my thoughts on this and some action steps I am taking to create God honoring memories to fill my children's hearts.